by Teri Ong
It has been an unusual three months for our family. For being the ages we are, meaning myself and my husband Steve, both of us being over the hill and slightly down the other side, up to now we have had very little death to deal with. We all pass through the stages in life when it seems that all of our friends are getting married, then everybody we know is having a baby, then everybody we know has children who are graduating and getting married, then everybody we know is having grandchildren… But we are now closer to the final stages when everybody we know has parents who are passing on, and some of our own generation are passing as well. That reality has hit us hard this winter.
We have lost a sister-in-law, Steve’s father, our daughter Alice’s grand-father-in-law (I think that’s the easiest way to describe the relationship), a cherished friend of our school music programs, the mother of a long-time CHESS friend, a friend and co-laborer who was the pastor’s wife of a sister church, and we are holding our collective breaths and saying many prayers for some others very close to us. But this time has made us very grateful for the years and strength God has given us in His service.
We are taking to heart Solomon’s advice more and more often, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, since that is the end of all mankind, and the living should take it to heart. Grief is better than laughter, for when a face is sad; a heart may be glad. The heart of the wise is in a house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.” (Eccl. 7:2-4) We have experientially learned what Solomon said in these verses. We have attended more funerals in 3 months than we had in the previous 6 years. We have mourned with those who mourn, but we have also rejoiced with those who rejoice (Rom. 12:15). The grief of having a loved one move away from earth to a new home in heaven is truly only the grief of having to wait to see them again until we get to move there too.
Last summer, when a dear lady died (who we counted as part of our church congregation even though the family’s home is two hours east of us on the plains of Colorado), we visited the family during their grieving time. The husband said, “It is so strange. You see how we are. We just sit
here and eat and carry on and laugh, and then we’ll cry a little bit, then we go back to eating and laughing.” That was our experience at Dad’s funeral time as well. The whole family was gathered in Elkhart, and except for random tears surrounding many happy memories and for Dad’s empty chair in the living room, it was like all of the other family reunions that have been held there – full of happy chatter and love.
We have confidence that it foreshadowed that greater reunion with the great cloud of witnesses who have gone home before us (Heb. 12:1), when we can all enter fully into the joy of our eternal inheritance provided by our Savior Jesus (John 10:28), who has been preparing our homestead for many years now (John 14:2). With that in mind, even though our faces may looked a little grieved from time to time, our inward man is renewed with gladness every day.
“Three Birthdays”
January 5, 1949 (Steve’s birthday)
A father looked upon a son;
A human life was new begun,
Begun with hopeful love and mirth,
A family by human birth.
October 7, 1973
The man and son are freed from sin;
On the same day, they’re born again.
Because the two accept Christ’s worth,
They are made twins at the new birth.
January 5, 2013 (Dad’s home-going)
Another birthday rolls around;
The call of God from heaven sounds,
And Father’s gone now from the earth,
Twins parted at another birth.
– Teri Ong (January 2013)
